My grandma Nelda (always known as MIMI), passed away on August 23, 2010 at 1:34 a.m. I remember the exact time because I was standing there in the room when they called it. In my head, I screamed loudly, "No! No! She can't be gone! Bring her back right now!" But the outer surface was only crying softly. My mom, sitting there holding my grandma's hand, was grateful that her mother's suffering had ended....I was crying because mine and my mother's suffering had just begun.
You had to know us to understand the bond. My grandma, me and my mom were the Three Musketeers. We did millions of things together. I even remember my Mimi being there when I got my ears pierced at the Country Store when I was 5 years old. She held my hand when they did it and I remember her smile...that crooked goofy smile she had that always made me feel better. And her tinkling laugh...I miss that laugh. It sounded like bells...until she interrupted it with a big snort! =)
My grandma had no enemies and a million friends. She made friends everywhere she went. She was vivacious, funny, loving, kind, compassionate, bright, full of life, an animal lover, a family supporter, a cheerleader at all my athletic events, a great cook, a good listener, a good story teller, a phenomenal piano player with her very own style, and above all, she was perpetual love.
My favorite memory of her is her taking me to the park on Fall weekends, picking out beautiful colored leaves, then going back to her house and dipping them in parafin wax, and once they dried, making cool leaf baskets to set around the house. I loved those days. Just me and her, doing our grandma/granddaughter thing. I have so many more memories, which is how it should be.
One thing she used to do for me was every time I would go on a road trip anywhere, she had me stop by her apartment, or she would come over and she would hold one of my hands, put the other hand on my car, and pray for my safe trip. So, as I was sitting in the airplane at the Pasco airport getting ready to come back to Boise after her funeral, I was crying and I started remembering that memory. I imagined her holding my hand, putting one hand on the plane, and praying for my safe return home. This made me smile and cry at the same time.
I thank God that I had her in my life. I thank God that her and my mom had the psychic ability and that she saved my mom's life at one point. I thank God that I had 32 years with her. And most of all, I thank God for ending her suffering. As much as it hurts all of us to have her gone, we are trying to be grateful that God took her and she no longer is in pain.
My cousin Jay told my mom that a couple weeks after Mimi passed away, he woke up and Mimi was at the foot of his bed with her little smile she had. He asked her if she had seen Jesus and she said, "It's glorious," laughed, and was gone. Give you the chills right?
So I just have to be grateful that she is up there, watching over me and all of us, with my grandpa, ALL of their many dogs, cats, and my Dahlia girl, and smiling down on us, waiting to be reunited. I just know that besides Dahlia, she will be the first one at the Pearly Gates waiting for me with her crooked smile and tinkling laugh. I miss you Mimi.
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| Mimi and Dahlia Christmas 2007 |
Isn't it amazing how many lives she touched and how she could spread happiness wherever she went? The one thing I will never forget is when I told her I wouldn't worry about her anymore and that I would be fine (I lied ). She gently placed her hands on my face, looked into my eyes, patted my cheeks, smiled a tiny smile and pulled me close. SHE was comforting ME. When God took her home at 1:34 AM, I have no idea how long I sat and held her hand. Time had stopped. The only thing going through my mind was if I let go of her hand, she is really gone. I felt like if I hung on to her frail hand that somehow it wasn't over. I knew her sprit had gone home and I was clinging to an empty shell but it was my moms hand that had always held mine and now it was over.
ReplyDeleteThe Christian me praises God for taking her home but the child in me wants my mom back. I have a huge empty hole in my heart that hurts every second of every day. There is not one minute that I am not thinking about her and how I will never be able to thank God enough for choosing her to be my mom.
Jayme is right, my mom, Jayme and I all have a psycic connection (Holy Spirit stepping up to the plate) that has made us even closer. I was so grateful and blessed that my Jayme was there with me. I needed her then and I need her now, with me every day by phone, text, email, in person, whatever. I pray we always have the bond my mom and I had.
Thank you for loving me Jayms. Ditto.
To the moon and back,
Madre